Scum of the slum? Not quite

The longer I obsess about this NBA offseason and the more time I waste at work reading article after article on LeBron James, the more ambivalent I feel about the situation. At first, I was bewildered by the Decision. I fought with two of my roommates about it, claiming that James had made a strange and large mistake. A player that I enjoyed who played for neither the Jazz nor the Celtics (certainly a rarity) lost a significant amount of the respect I had granted him. The story continued, however, and I became agitated by the hatred flung toward James. So many ESPN types criticized his ploy, but as a certain someone brilliant stated, this criticism was nonsense: if you want LeBron to be a ruthless winner, as many claimed after disappointing exits in consecutive playoffs, then he may have made the right decision (at least according to Vegas odds, so far). If on the other hand you wanted him to be loyal, then you should not have criticized him for losing the last two seasons. These arguments are very contradictory in nature and quite honestly got me all hot and bothered.

My opinion shifted as I took on the standard of defending James against the nay-sayers. I tried to argue that it was ignorant and invalid for us to project onto the sports star what we wanted him to be and that we should rather accept him for who he was. I believed (and still do) that he thought he was making the decision that would be best for his image (i.e. the decision that would please the ESPN culture). Tragically, he was completely wrong. I agree with Bill Simmons that this is a man who wants to amaze, and yet he couldn't have made a worse decision this offseason in that regard. This brings me to my third inconsistent narrative of James epoch.

After reading another clever blogger who I believe should write some elucidating posts in addition to his edifying comments, I have entered into a new abyss concerning James. Chris Paul seems (although it is difficult to say) to harbor some intentions of copying James to create a new super team. I agree that this, in the end, is bad for the league, and that LeBron precipitated it. What made the 90s great was the clash of the Utah Jazz and the Chicago Bulls. It was Jordan overcoming Thomas. The 80s presented us with Bird vs. Magic. LeBron has played an integral part in tarnishing this newest generation of basketball talent by opting out of the killer mentality, as unpleasant as I find that mentality to be. My ideal player is someone like Kevin Garnett: a nasty dude, hated by many, but fervently loved by fans and teammates. He literally put faces of opposing players from newspaper clippings on his mirror to later slash Xs through them off once he had beaten them. He does strike me at the same time as a good person, though, in a way that Kobe and Mike never have. Watch this if you don't believe me. LeBron strikes me as a good person too. I thought the comparison made between him and Magic Johnson was a great one. They both wanted to win, but they both were fundamentally nice people too. I currently think that this comparison is undeserved also, as is the one to MJ. I still believe that we shouldn't project our sporting wants and needs onto James and we should understand him for who he is. But that elusive who is beginning to look less and less appealing, at least on a basketball level. Is he the scum of the slum? I don't think so and I like to believe that ghost would agree with me. Is he Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, or one of the best, most inspiring players to play in the NBA? Not quite.

Why Being A Jazz Fan Can Be Really Great

Short Answer: The organization tends to find overlooked but tough athletes, gives them a chance to shine, and, by letting them play, does what sports is supposed to do, inspire.

Long Answer:

The Face of Evil

See that grainy, America's Most Wanted style picture? Good, now memorize it. If you ever see this man punch him in the gut. Spit in his face. He is all that is wrong with sports journalism. A shameless provacateur, a mock-outrage anger junkie. A man who writes highly opinionated, less than brilliant takedowns of the disgusting news media's fawning over LeBron and intersperses them with fawning bullshit coverage. This man is the enemy and I hate him with everything I'm worth. Either that or it's the most boring part of the year for followers of the NBA, post free agency excitement, post draft, pre warm up camps, and pre International Basketball contest that will determine which country has the best role players (all the stars are too busy to play at the FIBA 2010 World Championship, including the stars from other countries). In the absence of actual coverage, I propose we turn on each other. Why not? We've already turned on LeBron.

But some of us, Wojnarowski included, turned on LeBron way back when the season was still happening, well before the Decision, a remarkably stupid and respect burning event (in all eyes, but Miami's) in which LeBron announced his decision to leave Cleveland for tax free South Florida. While the decision was stupid and dropped the real LBJ's credibility (but not to a point he can't recover from), it does make sense if we follow the twisted path of one story line. This path was pursued by many fans, including self-proclaimed, "Hey I'm a fucking FAN, OK?" Bill Simmons. The story is that LeBron James doesn't care about winning (and he's probably un-American). Followers of this storyline insist that Jordan, Bird, and Magic all cared so much about winning, which is what makes them great, and that all LeBron cares about is dunks, which makes him less than great. It would seem beyond obvious that the aforementioned dudes played on teams that featured ridiculous talent and that LeBron didn't. Nonetheless, as these pricks have taken to the airwaves to proclaim that they would never, ever, do what LeBron did, I guess it needs to be pointed out. So here goes: Michael Jordan played with Scottie Pippin. Remember him? He took the Bulls to 50 plus wins and a barn-burning second round of the playoffs on his own. Jordan also had one of the best coaches, if not the best coach (but you should all know my opinion on the matter: he's not) in Phil Jackson. It wasn't Jordan who taught Rodman how to rebound. Indeed, Rodman had already logged 3 of the top 5 rebounding seasons of all time when he joined the Bulls. Not to mention the countless other All-Stars, 3 Point Contest Winners, all NBA defensive players, and all NBA team players who played with Jordan. I'm pretty sure Magic and Bird had similar, if not quite as many, gifts on their respective teams (Jabar, Riley, McHale, and Parish), but I wasn't paying very close attention to Basketball in the years before I was born. None of these guys were made good by Magic, Bird, or Jordan. They were already good. They may have been given the chance to shine on a bigger stage, maybe they were even made slightly better, but without the fad three, those teams were all very good.

Now, take the case of the Cavs. LeBron played with Mo Williams and Big Z. Very arguably, these two guys owe their status as having been All-Stars to his play. Similarly, fired coach Mike Brown, who won Coach of the year in 2009, almost certainly owed that to LeBron. And... that's pretty much it. The Cavs for the last two years were a 60 plus win team. If you want to measure LeBron against Michael Jordan you can measure how much each man's presence swung their team's abilities. When his airness returned, the Bulls gained 17 wins over the year he had been totally absent, and set the NBA record for the best season ever at 72-10. If the Cavs drop by less than this from their 66 ('08-'09), 61 ('09-'10, a season LeBron sat out the last half dozen games of) win heights, then we will have decisively proved Jordan better than LeBron. If they don't, however, I'm sure there will be some new excuse for the King's inferiority.

The point of this isn't that LeBron didn't break a lot of hearts and disgust a lot of people (me included) when he announced that he was going to Miami. The point is that if you were breathing down LeBron's neck in May for not wanting to win enough, for not being enough of a competitive asshole, then you should have cheered this new Miami team on. If, on the other hand, you hated him then and you hate him even more now (I'm looking at you Simmons, Wojnarowski), then I suspect that you were just looking for an excuse to tear him down. And that makes you a Michael Jordan level asshole, but with no chance of winning the NBA Finals.

Busta Rhymes Would Never...

Busta Rhymes would never join Wu-Tang to form an elite group. He would, instead, form his own elite group and beat them at their own game. Well, except for that one time he signed with Dr. Dre and did exactly that...



Or that earlier time.

Spielberg would never...

This just in: Michael Jordan wanted to BEAT Bird and Johnson, not join them. The silliest story in basketball gained momentum again as MJ claimed that he wouldn't have joined his rivals, but rather, he wanted only to defeat and humiliate them. First, let me point out that LeBron did not join Bird and Magic. Which one of these two is Chris Bosh (maybe the 4th or 5th best power forward in the league) supposed to be? Wade is one of the better players around today, but again, is neither Larry Bird nor Magic Johnson. Second, LeBron is not Michael. This is a false comparison and one that needs to end. The only things they share in common are the number 23 (...), playing in the midwest, and having the most enjoyable, pure athleticism of anyone around them. Other than that, they are different: LeBron is a nice person, Michael is not. Michael is incredibly competitive, LeBron is not. I could discuss how LeBron would never cheat on his wife the way MJ did, or the way that LeBron would never retire n times to play different sports, or that LeBron never had to push someone to make a humongous shot, but I won't (Cicero!). Instead, I'll point out how silly this all is. This is akin to criticising Spielberg for never directing movies in Japanese that take various Shakespearean works and place them in ancient, samurai-filled Japan. While true, it is completely irrelevant and takes away from the issue at hand. LeBron is not Jordan, Spielberg is not Akira, and Chris Bosh is not Gasol, let alone Larry Bird.

Late Nineties Redux

This time in the Bulls vs. Jazz series that so thrilled/suicidally dissapointed me as a youth, the issue is not back-to-back battles in the finals, but roster swapping; specifically, the Bulls taking a large swath of our roster from the past 4 seasons. It seems that the argument is that what was holding the Jazz back was a good defensive center (a very valid point) and the point guard skills of Derrick Rose (a much less valid point). But, since I like Brewer and (somewhat less) Korver and (much less -- bordering on luke-warm, take him or leave him sentiment) Boozer, I wish the new Bulls the best of luck in losing in the playoff's second round. Have fun guys, you earned it!

Why Being a Jazz Fan Can Really Suck

Basically it's the same reason being from Utah can suck in general. Because you're from a state that does stuff like this. I'm fine with the bizarre belief system of mainstream mormons, a weird, but generally extremely nice lot. The marriage of religion to hateful politics, however, deeply offends and worries me. Not to say that this is necessarily the work of Mormons, it very well could not be. But the overwhelming shadow the LDS church casts over all aspects of life in Utah and the insane political fanatics that grow in that shadow -- nay thrive, like so many fungi under a log -- makes the church, if not responsible, at least culpable of engendering an environment where this kind of stuff is possible. This seems a lot more sinister than the kind of really stupid, but innocuous stuff Utah normally does; like introducing legislation that bans the IB program as a UN plot. I don't know. Maybe it's a mountain time zone (or four corner states) thing. They seem to hate gays and Mexicans in Arizona, Wyoming, Colorado, and elsewhere. But nowhere else does it seem such a part of the mainstream (many of these states, like Wyoming, basically reject the notion of 'mainstream' all together, prefering to live on societies fringes, whereas Utah has one of the most centrally organized societies in the US). Nowhere else does it seem so acceptable, even tacitly endorsed by the broad mainstream (not just parts of it facing election).

Oh well, at least the Jazz didn't draft or trade for any gay Mexicans... that we know of. I would demand a test to prove that Al Jefferson and Gordan Hayward aren't Mexican spies trying to enact the radical San Francisco, Pelosi agenda. But knowing my fellow Utahns, such a test has a chance of implementation, and I want to keep my name clear so as to increase the odds of pulling off my own diabolical socialist plot: signing Dwight Howard.