First Annual All Dinosaur Team: Pt. 2 Ankylosaur

Well, it's been awhile since the last post in our incredibly exciting All Dinosaur Team series. This has, in part, been due to laziness. But the last post in this series also led to a heated discussion in which racism was brought up. That led to a retort in which I called Steve Nash and Manu Ginobili assholes. I stand by hating Manu Ginobili, but to disparage this guy as an asshole no matter how much he increasingly looks like an alien as a game wears on is wrong. My apologies. After such an embarrassing mistake on my part, I didn't know how I could return to the All Dino Team. Then a certain someone with a certain writing style that makes several nonsensical references to his own in-jokes, expecting you to infer what he's talking about, all while hedging his bets and a) either saying nothing or b) failing to say what he really means, because his writing isn't strong enough or his thoughts aren't clear enough, so he settles for a muddled mess that could have been interesting but just... anyway, that guy recently came up with a very similar post. This put the fear of god in me and I realized our Dino team needed some work. So without further a-do, I bring you a-part 2.

Unfortunately, I don't have too much to say, as our 2 guard is our weakest position. In an attempt to make the best of several imperfect candidates we have decided to go with the Ankylosaurus as our shooting guard. While slightly bigger than a normal shooting guard at 30' x 6' x 4', the Ankylosaurus is still plenty small on a team of dinosaurs. While a Compsognathus would destroy an Ankylosaurus in a race, the Ankylosaurus more than makes up for his loss of speed with his almost entirely impenetrable armor. Who around the Association could play the part? The answer may shock you. Why, Jason "Old Man" Kidd, of course. The two are built eerily similarly. They are both relatively peaceful herbivores, who do not, however, lack a vicious ability to clobber. Something that you would never guess from looking at their bewildered, bovine eyes. While scientists think that Ankylosaurai probably shot similarly to Kidd from beyond the arc, most doubt they had anything like his ball handling skills (for the record, most scientists don't think that's the best Kidd video, they maintain, however, that it is the most dinoish, plus they think that Nas song is fillmatic). While the Ankylosaurus' actual ball handling skills may have left something to be desired, one might argue that the ball on the end of his giant club is symbolically like a basketball and, I assure you, he was quite fluid at handling that ball. After all, one must admit, it often seems like the basketball is just another appendage for Kidd. Then there's the fact that Ankylosaurai balled in the days of Tyranousaurai. They survived because of the aforementioned armor and its toughness. Unless they were flipped on their bellies. Then they were totally T-Rex meat. So congratulations Old Man-Kidd, you made the cut.