The Shape of Rings to Come

Like every earth-shattering sporting event, it came as a surprise. I wasn't shocked that Lebron James lost to the Celtics; I was shocked how pathetically he made his exit. He wasn't hustling. He played sloppy. He lacked aggression and settled for difficult jump shots. He reduced his best-record Cavaliers to a shell of themselves, a one-star flash in the pan like Reggie Miller's Pacers or Allen Iverson's Sixers. Lebron didn't look like the king - he looked liked a mid-level player on a small market team, not ready for the moment. Boston looked like they had ten times as much talent - they remind me of that Payton-Bryant-Malone-O'Neal mutant Laker team, only with chemistry.

Full disclosure: I don't know much about basketball, especially it's history. Saying that, last night was a watershed moment, on par with the Yankees loss of the 1964 World Series, or Dwight Clark's "The Catch" in the 1981 NFC Championship. King James is off his throne - call it the Glorious Revolution. As crazy as this summer was going to be anyway, throw in the fact that we now know Lebron will play in different colors next year, and it's off the charts. Over the next 10 years, the four best players in the NBA will be Kevin Durant, Dwayne Wade, Lebron James and Derek Rose. Two of those players will change teams this summer, along with Joe Johnson, Chris Bosh and, in all likelihood, Amare Stoudemire. And believe this: no one's moving an inch til the King decides.

Nobody better think for an instant this guy is staying in Northeast Ohio. He's lived there his whole life - he probably wants to see the world, the ocean, the piles of money, the fans like Spike Lee and Jay-Z who know about building empires. He does not need more of this:

Lebron James structured his contract to create this bidding war. And now his time has come. Be careful what you wish for, because you just might be playing in a steel cage for a Russian madman. And James Bond always save chicks before dicks.