Now, About This Rockfight

Oh yeah, there's an NBA Finals to discuss. What's with calling it the Finals? And then having ABC use that elegant cursive scrawl at every commercial break? Is a Rockefeller getting married. Will there be beef Wellington served? Rasheed Wallace holds the record for technical fouls and Kobe Bryant once spent four million dollars on an "I'm Sorry I Raped a Coed" diamond, so I think we can forego the calligraphy. Five keys that WILL decide the series.

1. Paul Pierce vs. Ron Artest: In 2008, the Lakers had no one to guard Pierce, the Celtics most consistently phenomenal player, and he killed them. This year, the Lakers gambled on Artest just for this moment - his defensive skill set can only stop about four superstars in the league, and Pierce happens to be one of them. Remember how out of sorts the Durantula looked in game 6? Don't expect a great deal from Pierce. On the other end of the court, Artest hasn't had his transcendently awful game yet - he's playing within himself, calm, a role player on a team he feels can get him a ring. Pierce is the biggest agitator Boston has to offer...can he flop the monster out of Ron-Ron? This is the biggest difference between 2008 and 2010, and I have to say, advantage: Los Angeles. 

2. Big, Ugly Men: The Lakers have been swaddled their past 11 games (maybe the last 17), playing smaller, quicker teams that posed no physical obstacle to their tremendous size. They dodged Memet Okur, while Serge Ibaka and Brooke Lopez were not ready for the bright lights. Perkins might be one tech from a suspensions, but expect him to come hard at Pau Gasol, who certain Celtics have deemed "soft". Throw in Rasheed Wallace and what's left of Kevin Garnett, I don't see Odom and Bynum driving the baseline in the way they've become so accustomed to. Wallace is a less important version of Artest: he supplies Boston with six more fouls to give, and makes Gasol's job that much harder. Win or lose, the Celtics will keep th score down. Advantage: Boston

3. Rondo's Knees: Though I forgot about the pesky little doodlebug? He's been going hard to the basket for a month and a half now, willing this team to victory, and in game six, he fell a little too hard. Now he'll be matched up against Kobe, who'll be able to sit back, because we know Rajon can't hit the long ball. If Rondo isn't full health, the Laker defense can breathe a little easier, and bring help defenders elsewhere, possibly slowing down the onslaught that promises to be Ray Allen. On defense, a diminished Rondo will leave Kobe more clean lanes. On the other hand, I think Nate Robinson poses a huge problem to Kobe (or anyone else for that matter) if he gets on the court and gets hot. However, the Celtics do not want to get into a run and gun shootout, so they need their QB. As of right now, it's hard to see Rondo playing all out for the 6 or 7 games this series might go. Advantage: Los Angeles

4. Game 1, Traffic, and the Hellhole that is L.A.: This is more of an intangible factor, but this series tips off at 6 Pacific time Thursday afternoon. We know Jack will be there, but will anyone else? The 2-3-2 format is so hard on the visiting team, except if they find a way to steal Game 1. It's probably the strongest we'll see Garnett at any point in the series, and the Lakers will be adjusting to playing against a real defense for the first time in months. Combine that with the fact the crowd may get stuck in enough traffic / Sarah Jessica Parker Suicide gawking that they miss a good deal of the first quarter. If Phil Jackson wins game 1, he win, so Doc will have the wagons circled well in advance. This series could be over before it ever really begins, in the first 12 or 24 minutes if the Celtics come out hot. Advantage: Boston


5. Pressure. The Celtics took their foot off the gas for most of the season. They blew away the talentless Heat, the quitting Cavs, and a mismatched Orlando group. They let the Magic series go to 6 because of poor crunch-time shooting. Meanwhile, the Lakers have won many close games, 6 on the final shot by Kobe Bryant. The Celtics one weakness all year has been protecting a huge lead. What I'm saying is, this Boston team hasn't been tested with their back against the wall yet. They certainly will be in this series. And if #24 is pulling the trigger, advantage: Los Angeles