First Annual All Dinosaur Team: Pt. 3 Brontosaurus

The brontosaurus, despite an apparent name change by the dynamic and frenetic field of dinosaur naming, has finally ground out the long sought-after and ruthlessly earned starting position on the first annual dinosaur team through Kevin Durrant. These majestic beasts have been material for many soft and cuddly children movies, but do not mistake them for the gentle giants that they appear to be. According to recent computer modeling, brontosauruses could crack their tails with so much force that the resulting sound would be as loud as cannon fire.
Furthermore, these were some of the largest animals ever to roam the earth. The weighed as much as four elephants combined.


What does this have to do with Kevin Durrant, the man crowned as the next great in basketball? Plenty. First, each has tremendous length. Durrant is 6'10" but his arms allow him to play like a center around the rim instead of the small forward that he is registered as. Second, both Durant and the bronto possess a certain elegance. On the court, Durant is able to soar by defenders and shoot the outside shots with equal grace while I imagine a brontosaurus' movements to be well-coordinated and free-flowing. Third, I believe that they each exist on a similar hierarchical level within their various biological orders. While never registering as a top-tier dinosaur, the brontosaurus is consistently included in the top two or three most iconic and prolific of these gigantic monsters. Similarly, KD began this season as the top MVP candidate everywhere, and has since gone to not even mentioned at all on most lists. Although many will disagree with me, I believe that he is an excellent player but will never rule any generation of basketball, much like a Reggie Miller. He will always be at the top of a scouting report, but never the best player in the league. The NBA is just too talented and Kevin needs better teammates, despite his constant blather about the Thunder and THEIR players.


Lastly, looks may be deceiving. The Brontosaurus appears to be incredibly formidable, but it eats mostly leaves. Durrant has received so much praise for his camaraderie, but I find it contrived and created. He says precisely the right things too often that I must doubt his sincerity. Furthermore, at some fundamental level, he strikes me as softer than Dwayne Wade, Kobe Bryant, or Dwight Howard. He thus earns a comparison to an herbivore. I believe that he needs at least two or three more carnivores on his team before they are championship caliber. Imagine, though, if a T-Rex or a velociraptor teamed up with a brontosaurus? The combination of length and grace with ferocity and blood-lust would certainly win a few championships. It's too bad that the captain of the dinosaur team moved elsewhere...