Scum of the slum? Not quite

The longer I obsess about this NBA offseason and the more time I waste at work reading article after article on LeBron James, the more ambivalent I feel about the situation. At first, I was bewildered by the Decision. I fought with two of my roommates about it, claiming that James had made a strange and large mistake. A player that I enjoyed who played for neither the Jazz nor the Celtics (certainly a rarity) lost a significant amount of the respect I had granted him. The story continued, however, and I became agitated by the hatred flung toward James. So many ESPN types criticized his ploy, but as a certain someone brilliant stated, this criticism was nonsense: if you want LeBron to be a ruthless winner, as many claimed after disappointing exits in consecutive playoffs, then he may have made the right decision (at least according to Vegas odds, so far). If on the other hand you wanted him to be loyal, then you should not have criticized him for losing the last two seasons. These arguments are very contradictory in nature and quite honestly got me all hot and bothered.

My opinion shifted as I took on the standard of defending James against the nay-sayers. I tried to argue that it was ignorant and invalid for us to project onto the sports star what we wanted him to be and that we should rather accept him for who he was. I believed (and still do) that he thought he was making the decision that would be best for his image (i.e. the decision that would please the ESPN culture). Tragically, he was completely wrong. I agree with Bill Simmons that this is a man who wants to amaze, and yet he couldn't have made a worse decision this offseason in that regard. This brings me to my third inconsistent narrative of James epoch.

After reading another clever blogger who I believe should write some elucidating posts in addition to his edifying comments, I have entered into a new abyss concerning James. Chris Paul seems (although it is difficult to say) to harbor some intentions of copying James to create a new super team. I agree that this, in the end, is bad for the league, and that LeBron precipitated it. What made the 90s great was the clash of the Utah Jazz and the Chicago Bulls. It was Jordan overcoming Thomas. The 80s presented us with Bird vs. Magic. LeBron has played an integral part in tarnishing this newest generation of basketball talent by opting out of the killer mentality, as unpleasant as I find that mentality to be. My ideal player is someone like Kevin Garnett: a nasty dude, hated by many, but fervently loved by fans and teammates. He literally put faces of opposing players from newspaper clippings on his mirror to later slash Xs through them off once he had beaten them. He does strike me at the same time as a good person, though, in a way that Kobe and Mike never have. Watch this if you don't believe me. LeBron strikes me as a good person too. I thought the comparison made between him and Magic Johnson was a great one. They both wanted to win, but they both were fundamentally nice people too. I currently think that this comparison is undeserved also, as is the one to MJ. I still believe that we shouldn't project our sporting wants and needs onto James and we should understand him for who he is. But that elusive who is beginning to look less and less appealing, at least on a basketball level. Is he the scum of the slum? I don't think so and I like to believe that ghost would agree with me. Is he Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, or one of the best, most inspiring players to play in the NBA? Not quite.

Why Being A Jazz Fan Can Be Really Great

Short Answer: The organization tends to find overlooked but tough athletes, gives them a chance to shine, and, by letting them play, does what sports is supposed to do, inspire.

Long Answer:

The Face of Evil

See that grainy, America's Most Wanted style picture? Good, now memorize it. If you ever see this man punch him in the gut. Spit in his face. He is all that is wrong with sports journalism. A shameless provacateur, a mock-outrage anger junkie. A man who writes highly opinionated, less than brilliant takedowns of the disgusting news media's fawning over LeBron and intersperses them with fawning bullshit coverage. This man is the enemy and I hate him with everything I'm worth. Either that or it's the most boring part of the year for followers of the NBA, post free agency excitement, post draft, pre warm up camps, and pre International Basketball contest that will determine which country has the best role players (all the stars are too busy to play at the FIBA 2010 World Championship, including the stars from other countries). In the absence of actual coverage, I propose we turn on each other. Why not? We've already turned on LeBron.

But some of us, Wojnarowski included, turned on LeBron way back when the season was still happening, well before the Decision, a remarkably stupid and respect burning event (in all eyes, but Miami's) in which LeBron announced his decision to leave Cleveland for tax free South Florida. While the decision was stupid and dropped the real LBJ's credibility (but not to a point he can't recover from), it does make sense if we follow the twisted path of one story line. This path was pursued by many fans, including self-proclaimed, "Hey I'm a fucking FAN, OK?" Bill Simmons. The story is that LeBron James doesn't care about winning (and he's probably un-American). Followers of this storyline insist that Jordan, Bird, and Magic all cared so much about winning, which is what makes them great, and that all LeBron cares about is dunks, which makes him less than great. It would seem beyond obvious that the aforementioned dudes played on teams that featured ridiculous talent and that LeBron didn't. Nonetheless, as these pricks have taken to the airwaves to proclaim that they would never, ever, do what LeBron did, I guess it needs to be pointed out. So here goes: Michael Jordan played with Scottie Pippin. Remember him? He took the Bulls to 50 plus wins and a barn-burning second round of the playoffs on his own. Jordan also had one of the best coaches, if not the best coach (but you should all know my opinion on the matter: he's not) in Phil Jackson. It wasn't Jordan who taught Rodman how to rebound. Indeed, Rodman had already logged 3 of the top 5 rebounding seasons of all time when he joined the Bulls. Not to mention the countless other All-Stars, 3 Point Contest Winners, all NBA defensive players, and all NBA team players who played with Jordan. I'm pretty sure Magic and Bird had similar, if not quite as many, gifts on their respective teams (Jabar, Riley, McHale, and Parish), but I wasn't paying very close attention to Basketball in the years before I was born. None of these guys were made good by Magic, Bird, or Jordan. They were already good. They may have been given the chance to shine on a bigger stage, maybe they were even made slightly better, but without the fad three, those teams were all very good.

Now, take the case of the Cavs. LeBron played with Mo Williams and Big Z. Very arguably, these two guys owe their status as having been All-Stars to his play. Similarly, fired coach Mike Brown, who won Coach of the year in 2009, almost certainly owed that to LeBron. And... that's pretty much it. The Cavs for the last two years were a 60 plus win team. If you want to measure LeBron against Michael Jordan you can measure how much each man's presence swung their team's abilities. When his airness returned, the Bulls gained 17 wins over the year he had been totally absent, and set the NBA record for the best season ever at 72-10. If the Cavs drop by less than this from their 66 ('08-'09), 61 ('09-'10, a season LeBron sat out the last half dozen games of) win heights, then we will have decisively proved Jordan better than LeBron. If they don't, however, I'm sure there will be some new excuse for the King's inferiority.

The point of this isn't that LeBron didn't break a lot of hearts and disgust a lot of people (me included) when he announced that he was going to Miami. The point is that if you were breathing down LeBron's neck in May for not wanting to win enough, for not being enough of a competitive asshole, then you should have cheered this new Miami team on. If, on the other hand, you hated him then and you hate him even more now (I'm looking at you Simmons, Wojnarowski), then I suspect that you were just looking for an excuse to tear him down. And that makes you a Michael Jordan level asshole, but with no chance of winning the NBA Finals.

Busta Rhymes Would Never...

Busta Rhymes would never join Wu-Tang to form an elite group. He would, instead, form his own elite group and beat them at their own game. Well, except for that one time he signed with Dr. Dre and did exactly that...



Or that earlier time.

Spielberg would never...

This just in: Michael Jordan wanted to BEAT Bird and Johnson, not join them. The silliest story in basketball gained momentum again as MJ claimed that he wouldn't have joined his rivals, but rather, he wanted only to defeat and humiliate them. First, let me point out that LeBron did not join Bird and Magic. Which one of these two is Chris Bosh (maybe the 4th or 5th best power forward in the league) supposed to be? Wade is one of the better players around today, but again, is neither Larry Bird nor Magic Johnson. Second, LeBron is not Michael. This is a false comparison and one that needs to end. The only things they share in common are the number 23 (...), playing in the midwest, and having the most enjoyable, pure athleticism of anyone around them. Other than that, they are different: LeBron is a nice person, Michael is not. Michael is incredibly competitive, LeBron is not. I could discuss how LeBron would never cheat on his wife the way MJ did, or the way that LeBron would never retire n times to play different sports, or that LeBron never had to push someone to make a humongous shot, but I won't (Cicero!). Instead, I'll point out how silly this all is. This is akin to criticising Spielberg for never directing movies in Japanese that take various Shakespearean works and place them in ancient, samurai-filled Japan. While true, it is completely irrelevant and takes away from the issue at hand. LeBron is not Jordan, Spielberg is not Akira, and Chris Bosh is not Gasol, let alone Larry Bird.

Late Nineties Redux

This time in the Bulls vs. Jazz series that so thrilled/suicidally dissapointed me as a youth, the issue is not back-to-back battles in the finals, but roster swapping; specifically, the Bulls taking a large swath of our roster from the past 4 seasons. It seems that the argument is that what was holding the Jazz back was a good defensive center (a very valid point) and the point guard skills of Derrick Rose (a much less valid point). But, since I like Brewer and (somewhat less) Korver and (much less -- bordering on luke-warm, take him or leave him sentiment) Boozer, I wish the new Bulls the best of luck in losing in the playoff's second round. Have fun guys, you earned it!

Why Being a Jazz Fan Can Really Suck

Basically it's the same reason being from Utah can suck in general. Because you're from a state that does stuff like this. I'm fine with the bizarre belief system of mainstream mormons, a weird, but generally extremely nice lot. The marriage of religion to hateful politics, however, deeply offends and worries me. Not to say that this is necessarily the work of Mormons, it very well could not be. But the overwhelming shadow the LDS church casts over all aspects of life in Utah and the insane political fanatics that grow in that shadow -- nay thrive, like so many fungi under a log -- makes the church, if not responsible, at least culpable of engendering an environment where this kind of stuff is possible. This seems a lot more sinister than the kind of really stupid, but innocuous stuff Utah normally does; like introducing legislation that bans the IB program as a UN plot. I don't know. Maybe it's a mountain time zone (or four corner states) thing. They seem to hate gays and Mexicans in Arizona, Wyoming, Colorado, and elsewhere. But nowhere else does it seem such a part of the mainstream (many of these states, like Wyoming, basically reject the notion of 'mainstream' all together, prefering to live on societies fringes, whereas Utah has one of the most centrally organized societies in the US). Nowhere else does it seem so acceptable, even tacitly endorsed by the broad mainstream (not just parts of it facing election).

Oh well, at least the Jazz didn't draft or trade for any gay Mexicans... that we know of. I would demand a test to prove that Al Jefferson and Gordan Hayward aren't Mexican spies trying to enact the radical San Francisco, Pelosi agenda. But knowing my fellow Utahns, such a test has a chance of implementation, and I want to keep my name clear so as to increase the odds of pulling off my own diabolical socialist plot: signing Dwight Howard.

Zero to hero, just like that

"Don't KOC the KOC if you cannot walk the walk. Phony GMs are outlined in chalk." These were the infamous words that launched the newest era of the Jazziest saga. Last summer, many were angered by the apparent inability or the lack of will of the Jazz general manager Kevin O'Connor to make a serious trade for a legitimate NBA player. Boozer was despised and deemed worthless. O'Connor felt that this was the best team that Utah could put out on the floor. After the season began and the Jazz started winning games against teams such as Portland, Cleveland, and Orlando, fans felt differently. By the trade deadline, many were frantically refreshing ESPN pages with the hope that "Boozer traded to..." did not appear in the title. Finally, as the short-handed Jazz crushed the life out of an injured Nuggets squad, both Boozer and O'Connor looked great.

The Lakers came next, followed by summer. Each burned and blistered; Williams gave a press conference and in his normal stoic fashion, bemoaned the organization for not providing him with a real championship team. Summer saw the departure of both Carlos and Kyle to Chicago. It appeared that Boozer would leave without the Jazz even signing him to a deal first and receiving something in return via a trade. Next season suddenly became a question of whether or not this team could make the playoffs, let alone do anything once in the post-season. Compounded with a seemingly ridiculous draft pick, some even called for O'Connor's head.

Out of darkness came light, and KOC showed Utah fans and the rest of the NBA how and why he walks the aforementioned walk. This is a man who cannot draft well (Kris Humphries was drafted over Al Jefferson a few years ago.) Furthermore, he appears content to stay the course with a medium team instead of risking highly probable wins for a championship. These criticisms are fair and are earned. What he excels at, however, is making something out of nothing. Panic was palpable among Jazz fans, when suddenly here was Al Jefferson, the talented young Center from the Minnesota Timberwolves.

O'Connor had singed Boozer and had gained a trade exemption from the Bulls. He had magically turned this into landing Jefferson while having to send nothing back to Minnesota. This move certainly deserves deep praise and gratitude. It may not (and almost certainly will not) lead to a championship. Jefferson cannot play defense. But neither could Boozer, and this move essentially operates as a trade between the two players. As John Hollinger writes today, this trade is probably a good deal. Thus, Kevin was able to ride the horse that is Boozer for one more year and provide the Jazz with a much-needed first round victory in the playoffs. He was then able to turn what was quickly becoming a nasty situation into what very possibly could be a better Jazz team next season. Once again, KOC, our hats are off to you. Your outline remains immaculately chalk-free.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

In non-LeBron rant news, and also, in honor of the world cup, please enjoy this video:

Hey Dan Gilbert, Go Fuck Yourself!

Well, that didn't take long. The shameful, poorly reasoned, and grammatically incorrect screed from Cavs owner Dan Gilbert has already retroactively made Lebron's decision look like the height of class. In said screed, Gilbert threatens LeBron's Heat with the fact that, "I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER 'KING' WINS ONE" (his mentally unhinged caps). Adding, "You can take that to the bank." That's just the kind of brilliance you should expect from the guy who had seven years to try and keep King James and could only come up with Mo Williams as an incentive. I was quite disgruntled by the way James left and wish he had stayed, but that speaks more to my own perverse desires for sports figures to follow codes of "loyalty" and other nonsense than it does to any logically reasoned argument on my part (I'm just spitballing here, but there seems to be a really sick element to sports fandom in which we want a bunch of huge guys we'll never meet to live as personifications of our poorly fleshed out heroic ideals, ideals we ourselves don't ever approach; the fact that we then turn our collective scorn and vitriol on them as soon as they act human makes us crueler than the Romans were to the Gladiators, more like the Aztecs). If I had grown up in Cleveland I couldn't have waited to get out. Dude gave them seven years and they immediately commence to spit in his face? Fuck that. Fuck Gilbert, fuck jersey burning "fans," and fuck Ohio: there's probably a reason everybody not too fat to get out leaves. Go NAFTA and, in the relatively rare cases in which they play the Cavs, Go Heat!

One Quick Note

I just wanted to say, before we watch LeBron's decision and begin to read all the negative columns that will immediately follow on its heels, that LeBron may have lost me. I have been a LeBron defender for a number of years (I may yet post some e-mails between a friend and myself, arguing Kobe vs. the real LBJ, to prove it -- or because there will be no other basketball news). But the King's shameful, tone-deaf to the degree of a third world dictator (one who insists on conducting the symphony, if you prefer your metaphors a little unmixed) decision to announce where he'll sign in primetime television has even me a little outraged. The only thing that will justify this reality TV show (and by justify I mean make it in poor-taste but still well meaning, instead of psychotically cruel) is for James to re-sign with the Cavs. That's a nice sports story about a man who loyally stayed with his home town, rather than going for wins and self-serving fame. Sure, it will still be the act of an egotistical man, but a man to whom some stuff matters. If, on the other hand, LeBron signs with Miami -- as all reports indicate he will -- it will stand as the act of a scared, out-of-touch, and disastrously arrogant man. One who doesn't seem to understand how basketball teams work (even if the Heat succeed, which I doubt, how can anyone argue they will succeed as a team and not three egos?), and one who is scared to shoulder responsibility alone. It will mark him not as a leader, but as a follower, and a follower of poor decisions at that. I won't be hating LeBron as much as I do hate Kobe (he'll probably have to mess with my family for that), but I don't think I'll ever be able to love him again (not even with sports love, which is little more than a passing admiration and respect in all but the most ardently felt cases).

It's important to note, however, how we got here. Less than a year ago we all saw a different LeBron James. With the release of the documentary about his high school days and the book he co-authored with Buzz Bissinger, LeBron gave a flurry of media interviews, some of which I listened to or watched. In those interviews he does not at all come off as the conceited man he now appears to be. He instead seems to be very much like the nice, popular kid in high school. A kid aware of his privilege -- albeit, not entirely -- who keeps a foot in every social group. He could geek out, if ever so slightly, with the nerds, joke around with the jocks, revel in good fortune with the rich, and bring some heft and respect to his discussions with everyone else. He seemed aware of who he was and not without respect for others. He was a golden boy, liked by everyone, who liked everyone back. Although this may have been as much artifice as today's capital D "Decision," I doubt it. LeBron, as he is proving this summer, does not have the political instinct. His mishandling of this situation, complete with smug donation to the Boys and Girls Club, seems to confirm that he's not a very good actor and bad at intuiting what people want to hear. So I believe the other Lebron, the one from last year and before, was the real James.

So what happened? I think that the media, in its much maligned minute by minute news-cycle (but you can't really blame the media, or at least I can't, as I spent much of today refreshing various wepages and reading all I could about LeBron's choice; where there's demand, supply will follow) has hyped and hyped and inflated and inflated this free-agent class to the point that it distorted LeBron's own understanding of it and of his own worth. He, the boy who seemed able to handle (at least decently) the acclaim poured on him since high school, became more and more narcissistic as he entered onto the World Stage. After being told so many times that July 1, 2010 was the most important date in NBA History, he started to believe it. I think that LeBron's crew is mostly filled with sycophantic cronies and high school buddies. Dudes who may mean well, but can't advise him what to do while on the top. No one can ever help anyone else in this position, because being on the top necessarily means being alone. When faced with the situation, some people stand tall and prove their momentous worth; these people ascend to godhood. Others crumble. And many achieve heroic heights and then tragically crumble later (Michael Jordan is the best b-ball example, but history's pages are littered with people who fit that story). Thankfully most of us will never have to know how we would fare when looking down from the peak (likely, many of us would weaken and collapse). Unfortunately for James, he does have to face this challenge. And all reports seem to indicate he will run scared. Humanly understandable, but not the kind of thing one would expect from the once and future king.

In Trade All Over The Place

Since sports reporting is several light years behind political reporting, we're forced to turn to other sources for information during this momentous time; namely, the free market. I trust the fine folks betting their money to do the job of finding out information on LeBron a lot more than I trust the half-assed reporting of Chris Broussard. So what is the free-market saying (in the fine form of intrade.com)? Basically it's all over the place. When I started writing this post, it was 50-50 for LeBron staying in Cleveland, which is pretty good, considering its automatic plurality status. Now it's reporting a 30% chance LeBron stays which is considerably less, but still may be a plurality. What does this tell us? Probably that not too many people are trading on LeBron and therefore there's not that much information out there. People are panicky and acting with little to no reason. All of which is a long waste of saying, if you're coming here for information (I C you Johnston), you'll likely be disappointed.

Free agency predictions

Here are some baseless and linkless predictions about how things will wrap up come Thursday evening:

Dwayne Wade-Miami. I do not think that he will leave. Furthermore, Boozer would love to play with him there and that will be a great duo. The Chicago thing won't happen. It would be way too cool.

Chris Bosh-Houston. He does not want to play in Cleveland and he wants the extra money afforded by a sign-and-trade with the Raptors. This essentially leaves Chicago and Houston. If my hunch is correct, and Wade stays put, this gives Bosh every reason to go to the Rockets, which will instantly become the best suited team in the league to compete with LA.

LeBron James-Cleveland. I don't think the guy has it in him to break the collective hearts of Ohio. Today, Byron Scott claimed that it was 75-85% likely that the King stays. I believe that the Cavs will offer some sort of trade to bring in at least one semi-skilled player. On a related note, how silly is the whole hour-long special on ESPN? It feels so strange that an athlete 25 years old is hosting what seems to be a huge PR event for himself. Phil Jackson's comment that politics have no place in the NBA cements the notion that Phil Jackson sucks. This free agency has been nothing but politics, capped off with a speech to America from Mr. James about why he has decided to make the tough call on where he plays sports next year. I seriously wonder what will get more views: Obama's Afghanistan policy speech or this one? I can't help but think that this is stupid and it even smells mildly of hubris.

Everyone else-Nobody cares.

Next Year's Lockout

This just in: Donnie Walsh and Rick Sund have completely and utterly forfeited their future rights to complain should the NBA enter a lockout next season over player's contracts by signing Amare Stoudemire and Joe Johnson, respectively (in such a scenario, managers and owners will complain about players' ridiculous contracts when the Collected Bargaining Agreement expires in early fall, 2011). Meanwhile, back in 2010, owners and managers are busy happily signing as many ridiculous contracts as they can. Stay tuned for further ridiculous max amounts of money being offered for Chris Bosh and Carlos Boozer (a slight overpayment in the first case, a Knicks/Hawks level overpayment in the second).

These deals make little sense. Cap space was cleared to pay for the (justified) max contracts of LeBron James and Dwayne Wade. But since there are only two such guys worth max money available this year (and only a handful more in the league), and since there are many teams with spending cash that will be gone should they not lavish it on players, anyone lucky enough to be up as a free agent who has played in a couple All-Star games can expect a max deal. I think it would make a lot of sense for some of these teams to wait for Carmello Anthony, Brandon Roy, Deron Williams, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, and Kevin Durant (among others) all of whom will become free-agents before Stoudemire's new contract is up (not to mention Johnson's ridiculous 6 year max contract, which might, should LBJ go to Chicago, prove that Johnson is better than LeBron, according to the free market). There is an argument that some revenue will be lost from empty seats while these teams wait around for the potential free-agents to maybe sign with their squads, but surely Amare is not a solution to that problem. Things are going to be pretty grim in Madison Square Garden unless The King plays there (this is, after all, a recession). Making the Stephon Marbury mistake again will hardly help New York reclaim its glory days of losing in the finals that one time (and that other much worse time). It may turn out that this year's big free-agency losers: The Clippers, and maybe the Nets, will be its biggest winners come a few years in which they can snag some good picks and spend some saved cash; its biggest winners, that is, besides whatever team signs two of the Bosh, Wade, James triplets. To this mystery team I must offer my most sincerest congratulations and support in Beating LA. Bash their skulls in guys.